Grandpa

So much has been going on that I haven't had a moment to {stop. think. reflect.} in the past couple of weeks. But I had an overwhelming desire to blog on my commute home this evening...and here I find myself. My life has been turned upside down recently. I had to say good bye to my beloved grandpa this month. He was 82 and was diagnosed (for the 2nd time) with cancer about a month ago. We all knew it was coming and I've been preparing myself and my heart the phone call. I even got to go home a few weeks before and spend an entire afternoon with him, we watched football, talked about PA and joked around...that was my goodbye...and he was so sick that I knew he was frustrated being trapped in his body. He was ready to go. He drew his last breaths to the sounds of "Amazing Grace" sang by my mom, brother, and grandma. I can't hear that song without breaking into tears. I loved him very, very much. I definitely got my sense of humor from him. After my car accident this spring I called him up and the first thing he said to me after "hello" was "Well, I got some utility poles around here if you need something else to hit..." AND I always had plenty of potassium in my system when I visited him...he loved bananas and I ate countless of them at his kitchen table growing up. The grown-ups use to sit outside in these old metal chairs under this huge maple tree at his house while us kids would run around in the yard and get water from the old water pump that always had a tin cup hanging from it. He use to take me to the barn when I was little and show me the tiny piglets and he would always warn me that the sows would bite my arm off if I went too close...I never did. On 1st grade "Pet Day" all the other kids had their parents bring in their dogs and hamsters and Grandpa went along with my scheme to bring in one of those piglets. That thing squealed so loud and kept trying to wiggle away but Grandpa still brought it. He never let a conversation go on too long and always left a party when he thought it should be done. Every year my family still puts on a Thanksgiving play because Grandpa loved to yell "Squanto!" when my little brother entered the "stage" dressed in feathers and with sister dressed up like a turkey. He spotted me money when I couldn't quite make the tuition payment in college, never missed a birthday and made sure I knew plenty about Maytag washers, rainbow sweepers and the value of glassware. I miss him so, so, so, so, so much. I love you Grandpa.

"Screw this crying thing". So yes, those un-poetic words did come out of my mouth (and no I'm not proud of the crudeness of them) BUT that is sort of how I feel. It is kind of a sentimental time in my life. I'm saying goodbye to a place that has been a pretty good home for me for the past three years to swap it for a home I don't have yet. That, my friends, is kind of weird.

I like the idea of graduating. It's...I don't know...such a sort of accomplishment. And I get to wear one of those ultra stylish square-cardboard covered with cloth-black hats and a long flowing robe. I'm mean seriously, those robes are comfy! I also get to parade in front of a bunch of people's family and friends so that my family and friends can cheer for the 1.2 seconds while I grab my diploma. Woo. It's also nice to be (almost! ah) done with schoolwork (until I realize sometime down the road that you need a masters to do anything cool). But I'm going to freakin' miss my "family" here.

When you talk to anyone that attended Geneva they will tell you, "I loved the people." And it is SO TRUE! I do love these people...a lot, and that makes it hard for me to move on. And I'm super, super entrenched here...one guy put it so well when he was talking about leaving. He used the analogy of a button being sewed to a coat. While you were at Geneva and you only went to class, had a few friends and ate at the dining hall you wouldn't have a lot of strings to attaching you to the coat...thus is would be easier to snip those few ties and move on. BUT if you are involved here...such as being an RA...doing theater...having a ton of friends...working on campus...getting to know your proffs...etc...then there are a TON of strings to snip when you leave. Let me tell you...it's going to be hard. The cool thing is that I've got an entire world that I can go conquer...and believe me I want to. God has placed big dreams on my little heart and I'm going for 'em.

So this is just me musing and thinking out loud. If you are a Geneva person reading this...I love you and I will miss you.

Everyone else...if you want to give me a job...I'll be around. :)